Exactly how she is.- Tubby
- Chunky
- Hefty
- She's a BIG girl
- Wow, that's a BIG baby
and these are just a few.
Now, the people who said these comments are suppose to be people who care about me, us,etc.
They did NOT say them lovingly. They said them because Lilah is a healthy baby, not skinny, and isn't struggling to gain weight. They said these comments and they hurt me.
I also saw the curiosity. NOT good curiosity. Those who have not seen her, held her, and stared at her eyes. I HATE THIS! Please don't look at her like a science fair project. I understand you are interested. But, I do not want you to use my child to tame your curious mind. No questions were asked. Just that look. That, "Oh, I am SO glad its not me" or the "I feel bad for them" or "Maybe if I ignore them it will go away."
I have had many conversations with these people. They are not strangers. Far from it.
They looked. They commented. They saw. Then...they ignored us like we weren't there.
PLEASE do NOT feel bad for me....or for Lilah.
I LOVE LILAH.
Big, small, sight, no sight.
Instead of getting defensive. Mad. or Sad at the comments about her... I said,
"That's how we like 'em."
*Then I got in the car and cried!*
7 comments:
oh girl i'm sorry. i want to believe that they don't mean to hurt you but that in no way excuses their rude behavior. i cannot relate in any way shape or form to what you are going through but i get you on the rude comments. i get them alot about our inability to conceive. i just dont' get how some people can be so clueless that what they're saying hurts.
Bless your heart!! I can't say I understand fully---I do remember when Clara was a baby she was big----and I had people make comments all the time and it was so painful. I was told I was feeding her too much and that I had to be careful or my child was going to be overweight like I am---people in CHURCH said that to me---and yes, I understand the tone and the knowledge that it isn't done in love.
Of course you love that precious baby girl---just as she is---PERFECT as God made her!!! When people point out the flaws in others, what they are actually doing is revealing a flaw of their own--and a very ugly one I might add! God was very clear with me about that and it took a while for that to sink it, but it is so true. God will deal with them, I pray they are open and receptive to His correction! That is not your concern however, and the way you have handled it is FABULOUS!!! Wow---talk about shining with the Light of Christ!!!
Try (and I will be praying for this for you too) to not take it in. Don't let that garbage from the enemy penetrate your mind. You were choosen by God to be the Mommy to this precious gift!! You are doing a fabulous job, as God knew you would!! When a remark is made turn it immediately over to God asking Him to reveal to them their error and ask Him to take it away from you and don't let it go it!
Hang in there!!!
Thanks guys!
First of all, that picture of Lilah is my absolute favorite! What a doll baby!
It's tough to bear through comments, stares, and even sometimes lack of comments. I do think people mean well, but just don't realize what is the "right" thing to say, if there is even such a thing. I think it's great that you stayed loving and confident while in the presence of everyone. And it's all right to have your break down moments too. When I have people comment about Cayman and I feel my hypersensitivity rising, it always helps me to have my positive mindset ready...this could be a Bible verse, a quote, etc. The one mindset that I use a lot is:
"I don't regret the situation I am in with Cayman. This kind of experience has made all the joys I have in life all the more sweeter."
And when my mind grabs a hold of that joy that I feel it makes things so much easier.
God bless you Katie!!
That has been my comment for years in hard times. "That just like I like it." Lilah is just like I like em. Precious and innocent and the love of your life.
QMM
I completely agree! I get so sick of the comments about Matthew. 'Oh what a sleepy baby'; it drives me up a wall. But I try to remember that to most he does look tired, due to his poor muscle tone, his lack of vision and the medications that drive away the seizures, but also leave him looking very medicated. But none the less, It's so frustrating! I can empathize! But I am also gently reminded that most people don't know what to say. I have even caught myself recently watching a beautiful young girl who had a visual disability as well as missing extremitites in awe as she enjoyed a waterpark 'by feel' and her parents telling her how to navigate the steps and slides. I went up to them after I realized that I may have looked like I was staring. I told them 'our story' and how there family inspired me. I still worry that I may have offended them, even though they didn't seem that way. I think we're now extra sensitive to things like this. I sometimes don't feel like I know how to 'act' and if there is a right way to 'act'. I guess I try to treat them like any other child, and smile, not that sad smile, but a warm one. I don't know what the right answer is. I feel like the reason *I* (this is me personally) feel this way, is because I'm still grieving. Grieving for that 'typical' baby that everyone wants, even though my life has been infinately blessed from having Matthew in our lives. We've learned so much and God has blessed us beyond measure; but regardless, I'm still human, and I still sometimes wish things weren't the way they are.
Well I guess I don't know what I'm trying to say, other than, I'm with 'ya girl!
Katie, she's beautiful. And aren't babies supposed to be chunky? (I wish that was true about adults...as I look down at this belly) Sorry you're having to endure the comments/questions. Sounds like you've got a great group of supportive and loving friends, though. I don't know if the comments will go away, but you'll definitely get better at dealing with them (I like QMM's comment). Hang in there and kiss those four beautiful kids.
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