"May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit."

~Romans 15:13

Monday, May 18, 2009

Worry

I hate to admit how I am feeling today. OK, the last few days. I am worried about Lilah. I am worried that Lilah's eyes are "dancing" more. I am worried that on top of the need for clearer corneas, now she has a nystagmus or strabismus. I am fearful that she is not "focusing and fixating" enough. I am plain SCARED!


I wonder if I am working with her enough. Am I helping her build muscle strength? Am I doing it "right" or am I missing something?


Then, if I do work with her enough, am I leaving the other three out? Am I forgetting them to work with her and help her progress? Am I spending too much time with Lilah and not enough with them? Or am I spending too much time with the other three and not doing enough for Lilah? OR am I doing other things and neglecting my kids?

So, I am trying to give it to GOD. I cannot change what is happening, nor can I change what will happen. All I can do is give it to HIM, ask for HIS help, and TRUST that I am doing the best I can. I am clinging to this verse today:


Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Matthew 6:27

2 comments:

Kristen said...

I love how you can vent and preach to yourself all in one setting. :-)

That is a great verse to remember in such a time when worry can overtake your mind.


Cayman has a nystagmus too, just in her left eye. We were told by her vision specialist that typically a nystagmus does not improve. But over the last 6 months it has gone from shaking almost all the time to only once in awhile now. There's hope! Don't lose faith.

Lisa Christine said...

Elisabeth has nystagmus also....but it seems to have calmed down quite a bit!

I don't think that you need to worry about how much time you are spending with Lilah vs. the other kids. Lilah will thrive just being a part of your loving and accepting home. She can feel it, I'm sure. And she will live up to her greatest potential.

What a blessing she is for you and you for her.

Smiles from Washington :)