No? Not yet? When? Why?

Unfortunately, we have hit another "road block" of sorts with Lilah. I must say that this is getting to me more than I care to admit.

I spoke with someone at the church who has the "authority" to decide if Lilah can go to the school, where she will be placed(if a spot opens), and what that means.

I was told that "all 4 of the teachers" in the older 2 year old rooms expressed deep concerns about Lilah's physical limitations. Specifically on the playground, which the children go to daily for 30 minutes. Then I was told that the 3 year old class works on a reading and writing curriculum that they don't feel Lilah would be ready for. Concerns that she wouldn't "get it" and that the higher ratio of children may be "too dangerous" for Lilah.

First let me tell the truth...

• hearing each of those things about your child...SUCKS! Sorry, but there is the truth. I had to fight back tears while I spoke to this "all business" person. (Yes, as soon as I walked away I cried. Then had to dry my tears to get back on stage to sing)
• hearing that your child isn't ready to be in the class she is age appropriate for is HARD!
• I am aware that Lilah has many "global" delays.
• I am NOT asking for the school to cater to her, but I would like her to be given a chance. Especially when I see children in the school with larger "physical" demands.
• This leads me to feeling like the ONLY option for preschool I have for Lilah in the Chatham County area is the PSI (pre-school intervention, special needs only) classroom through the county.

I am sure there are AMAZING teachers in some of the schools. But, each year it is the "luck of the draw" and I am not sure I will get the "right" teacher by just playing a lottery of sorts. (the saddest part is that my "typical" functioning children had issues)

WHERE is she "suppose" to be?

God, PLEASE tell me what to do! Give me the right place for LILAH...the place that will ACCEPT her and LOVE her.

She is the HAPPIEST, most JOYFUL human being EVER. She brings light to EVERYONE she meets.
Watch this!!!!!

She WANTS, NEEDS, DESIRES to be a part of it all. She needs to be loved and accepted, challenged, motivated, encouraged, and WANTED.

WHO will love her like I do? WHO will WANT her in their lives like I do?

God, please help me help Lilah. I am STRUGGLING with this.

I am at a LOSS right now.

The way that people negatively react to her makes me SICK...those that look at her "lack " of abilities rather than her over abundance of HUGE abilities.

What if Lilah doesn't meet the "standards" that the "authorities" need to see in 6 months? Where will she go? What will we do? Is PSI right for her? What if she is ignored? Not challenged?

Aren't we suppose to LOVE and accept all people? Their abilities, disabilities, everything?!

WHAT am I to do for her?

I. NEED. HELP!