Honesty
Truth
Transparency
I am very nervous about Lilah's appointment tomorrow.
Lilah's right eye sometimes goes up a little.
Sometimes.
Lilah's right eye is getting clearer...BUT slowly.
The picture below was taken while she was rolling over yesterday.
I was taking several shots. She is upside down.
This is what she looks like.
Do you see what I am fearful of?Will he patch her left eye to make the right stronger?
Can she see anything out of the right?
Is her left eye clear enough, strong enough to handle patching?
Will Dr. Lee wait longer?
Will he give her more time and me more options to help her?
Can he, will he start her on the FML again to help clear her right eye more?
Oh dear God, I am so scared for Lilah.
Will this be the appointment where we are told she has to have the transplant?
Have we reached the limit?
WHY am I so scared?
I pray the Lord will help me trust HIM and HIS plans for her.
As I write this I MUST tell you all the good things Lilah IS doing!!
- Both eyes are focusing on objects, lights, toys, and my face more
- Lilah is rolling over more
- Lilah is more comfortable in her surroundings
I PRAY, humbly pray, that Lilah will NOT need transplant surgery.EVER!! That there is some other method and her eyes will clear more and more without invasive means.That Lilah's eyes will remain straight.
*I needed to get this out of my head...as much as I can*
3 comments:
Stay strong Katie :) Everything will be fine, not matter what. The important thing is that you have her, and she has you.
I know it must be hard, but try not to be fearful of surgery. Try to think of the transplant surgery as a miracle in and of itself. A modern miracle that would help Lilah to see the world.
I often find myself overcome with gratitude for modern medicine. Because of Elisabeth's shunt placement surgery, she was given a second chance at life. Yes, surgery is scary...but it is also a blessing; a miracle.
Just remember that whatever news you recieve tomorrow, there is always hope. Always.
Lilah will be in my prayers :)
Travel safe!
Lisa said just what I was going to. Only in a more eloquent way and from a mother whose little lady has had a few surgical procedures in her short life.
A transplant may be an answer to prayer. I, with my whole heart, believe that God gives doctors the knowledge and the skills they have. Trust them.
Praying for you and your sweet girl.
Katie I can completely understand why you are scared...Lilah is so little and you have to make decisions for her..I remember being scared out of my mind that I was making the wrong decision to have Emily go through the transplant surgeries. But in her case we were told that it was her only option to have any chance at ever seeing. So I had to trust our doctors.
If you have faith and trust in Dr. Lee, then go with it. Let him be your guide through this terrible process.
In the event that she ever does need the transplants, please know that it has been a miracle for our Emily. She is walking, playing and interacting with people and things just like any normal 21 month old. We still don't know what her vision limits are, but she is doing (in the words of her doctor) remarkably well considering what she has been through. The transplants are what gave her the abilty to see me, to she our world, to see how beautiful she is. Would I do it again if I had to? Absolutely!
Prayers for you and Lilah :)
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