"May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit."

~Romans 15:13

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Missing out because we are going to Atlanta


This morning we will be getting on a plane and flying to Atlanta. I am so grateful to Angel Flight for this awesome service. Pilots volunteer their time, fuel, and planes. Angel Flight gives them a tax deduction and the pilots get to register the hours they flew to remain current with their license. And our family gets a free flight to and from Atlanta(on their personal planes) for Lilah's specialist. It is a win, win for everyone! (instead of driving 11-13 hrs in one day, we are only gone from our older children for a few hours, and sometimes not much longer than school getting out)


Today will be a first (I think that life with a Special Needs child is so full of firsts!) we will be taking one small plane to Atlanta with a pilot we have never met, then we will return on another plane with another pilot we have never met. A little nervous on that one, BUT...trusting that the Lord made this possible for us so we could have a quick visit and get back to our children. (quick is relative to me. Some of our visits with Lilah lasts hours then we have a drive ahead of us, so if the visit lasts 2 hours today and we don't have to drive...perfect!)


I am not that nervous about the visit...not yet. I am more saddened because I will miss seeing Alex, my oldest, receive awards today. She made HIGH honor roll (93 and better), she doesn't get into trouble, she follows directions, she is the student all teachers wish they had. She is funny, creative(my girl will be an artist!), and has one of the biggest servants hearts...ever. I will miss her receiving her awards by 10 minutes for the flight today. I have apologized with tears in my eyes over and over...and she said, "Its OK. I will ask Miss Michele(my friend who is picking them up from school) to call you and tell you all the awards I got." She let me off the hook that easy. Really?!! Not for me. I am overtaken with guilt,grief, and hurting because I am missing it. I need to be there. I need her to know that her Mama doesn't just fight for Lilah, I fight for her too. (for ALL of them)I need her to know that I am more proud of her than she will ever, EVER know. I HATE that I will miss it. To all my friends who will be there today, PLEASE clap and cheer for Alex as loud as you can...for me. Thank you, signed Teary-eyed Mommy who will miss the ceremony.


Today in Atlanta, I do believe that Dr. Greenberg will be very impressed with Lilah's eyes. I have done several tests, on my own with her. I have patched, like a crazy lunatic. I make sure she wears it. To the point that when she peels one off, I put another one on. I do my very best to get to 3-5 hours a day. I believe it is paying off. I see her eyes converge together.(meaning she uses BOTH of her eyes) I have done test with many different objects to see what each eye can see individually and then together. I will say this today, tomorrow, and always... Lilah is a miracle. She can see. I don't know what and how much, but she sees with BOTH of her eyes...and she has NEVER had a surgery. That is a huge praise and is ALL God.

I am nervous about the tests today. Lilah has gotten very smart. She knows when you will put something near her face. I am praying that Greenberg can get her pressures, thickness, run tests, dilation, etc without Lilah struggling too much. I am waiting because I feel strongly that he will say she needs an EUA (exam under anesthesia) and that means another trip to ATL, more missing out, more planning, etc,etc. BUT... I will do whatever needs to be done for Lilah...for all of them.


I am asking for prayers today. Prayers for a safe journey too and from Atlanta. Prayers for both pilots. Prayers for both planes. Prayers for Lilah to allow Dr. Greenberg to do the tests. Prayers that Greenberg will see what I see and be as blown away as I am. Prayers that I will be at peace having to miss Alex's awards. Prayers for my friend Michele watching my kids along with her four.(love you, Michele. Thank you!!) Prayers for peace and trust above all.


Lord, please be with Aaron, Lilah and I as we fly to Atlanta this morning. Please give Lilah peace and calm during the tests. Lord, I ask that you please fill Alex, Sammie, and Eli with LOVE and let them KNOW that their Mommy and Daddy love them very much and hate to be away from them. Please fill my heart with peace at having to miss Alex's awards. Please be with the pilots today. Please guide them with your eyes, ears, and hands as they fly these planes. Please keep us safe during the trip to and from Atlanta. Please let us shine your light for all to see. We know that you gave us Lilah so others could see you. I know it from the way each picture I take of Lilah, YOU are there. It is obvious in her eyes, the light, it all. YOU are with her. YOU created her. YOU gave her to me. THANK YOU for trusting me with this MOST precious gift. I pray that I am honoring you with all that I do, especially with my family. Thank you, in advance, for what I know we will hear from Greenberg today. I cannot do anything without you, Lord. YOU have given me strength, determination, and WILL to fight this battle. Thank you for growing me. Thank you for humbling me. I am grateful and amazed. I love you Jesus. Amen.

2 comments:

laurie b said...

Phenomenal, Kates! Absolutely phenomenal! I am so excited about the good news that YOU already new! Keep up the good work, sis! True, none of this would be possible without GOD but HE is using YOU to help the whole thing progress!
Alex understands............you've brought her up to be that type of child. She knew, by your tearful apologies, how much you wanted to be there. We can't do it all and she knows how important this all is for Lilah's development. No.......she might not say it exactly like that but she knows! Have faith!
I love you so much! :)

Janet said...

Haven't checked on Lilah in a while, so I've just read the last month. Great news from the Dr.'s!! I may check out Greenburg!!, not so happy here in Birmingham. Also just learned Lilah has something in common with not just our Peter's kid, but also our newest adoption-in-process....he supposidly is missing the corpus colossum, but we won't really know for sure for quite a while.
I'm excited for Lilah's new therapy. She is precious, and you are such an encouragement!