Happy 2nd Birthday Lilah

Aaron surprised me, at Lilah's party, and made a video from all the photographs I have taken of Lilah over the last Two Years.

Lilah will be 2 on Thanksgiving. What a HUGE amount we have to be thankful for!

My family

I could not begin to thank God enough for the blessings in my life.

An amazing husband who LOVES me and my children unconditionally. I LOVE you, Aaron. Thank God for you. Thank God for our marriage, our children, and eternity together.
The JOY and wonder of being a MOTHER...

The Greatest gift!

My beautiful mini-me that has the biggest servant heart.

She will make you giggle!

The drama queen who can turn it on and off in an instant. This little one has a heart of gold and keeps me on my toes!

My handsome man. He is his father in every way...playful, funny, mischievous, has a HUGE heart...but thank God he got his Mama's rhythm!

The miracle!

What she has done for this family...what she has done for so many...what she will continue to do in this life

I will NEVER take them for granted.

Thank you, Lord, for my family!

WHY her? why HER?

I remember the grief I was faced with when Lilah was diagnosed. I will NEVER forget that moment...I didn't understand. I remember praying and asking, and begging, and getting SO mad at God..."WHY HER?"

The first five months of her life I was SO alone. I didn't know where to turn, who to ask for advice, what to do. I was OVERWHELMED. No one could make me feel better. NO ONE could take the hurt, pain, anger, questions, sadness, etc. away. My questions, comments, thoughts and prayers went on and on and always back to that SAME question..."WHY her?"

MONTHS later, hundreds of thousands of tears later, time, prayers, GROWTH...and NOW... I see a TOTALLY different perspective.

Last month I went on a spiritual retreat. My first EVER. The absolute BEST thing I have ever done.

You see...I thought so many messed up things about Lilah's birth. I didn't understand..no, NOT FULLY, the depth of God's love for me....for ALL of us.

See, I blamed myself for Lilah's diagnosis. I blamed myself as if I caused or created or "did" this to her. "Did I eat the wrong thing, drink the wrong drink, should have done this or that differently, etc" See, THAT was wrong thinking. I had believed these lies forever. That everything was MY fault. I believed the LIES that others told me. People who were(suppose to be)closest to me. People I was suppose to trust.

When I went on the walk to Emmaus I was faced with some of my toughest fears. People from my past were there. People from my present, and people who confirmed what I already knew in my heart, but had been lied to for 18 years. I had to face those fears to see the FACE of GOD.

I had to lay ALL of my burdens at the cross. Give it ALL to the Lord and know that HE died on the cross to set me free.

I am FREE!

I learned on my Walk to Emmaus that it doesn't matter what ANYONE thinks of me. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of Lilah. What matters is what God thinks of us!

Lilah was given to me. Lilah was trusted to me. Lilah was placed in my care for me to help change things for her, and for others. I have been VERY determined to change the way that special needs children in my area, and all over this country, are being helped.

I have been fighting SO hard to get Lilah the services she needs and deserves. I use to be afraid to ask for things. Until I realized...if I don't FIGHT for Lilah, WHO WILL? So, I have become VERY assertive. I have become very LOUD for Lilah. I am sure that some people don't like me. You know what? WHO CARES!!

This squeaky wheel has gotten a LOT of grease for Lilah...and for my older three!

I know that what I am doing is pleasing the Lord. He has given me this blessing of Lilah and I am honoring HIM with ALL that I do for her...for ALL of my kids.

****a little back story****

September 4th was our Anniversary. 18 years together, 11 years married. Yes, we are high school sweethearts!

This September 4th, Aaron got down on one knee and re-proposed to me, complete with a new ring he had been saving TWO years for. He asked me to renew our vows and he did this in front of our children. He wanted our kids to see that he is a changed man and is committed to me and our family. (picture of the ring will have to wait....and here is why....)

Today as I was getting my ring sized I looked over at the other couple in the store. There stood a man with his arm around a confident woman explaining to the salesperson what she wanted...holding a white cane.

I was overcome with emotions. I stared at them. NOT a bad stare. An in AWE stare.

I saw Lilah. I saw her in that woman. I saw my baby in the future, being LOVED, being cared for, getting a ring, saying what she wanted, and NOT caring what anyone thought of her.

I noticed the couple leaving and stopped them. I could barely control myself as I told her that she exuded confidence and I was in awe of her....for my daughter.

The woman was very polite and told me that she doesn't always use the cane the right way, but she tries.

And THAT folks...is JUST it.....we try. We all try. We all fight.

And we should NEVER give up. EVER.

Don't take NO for an answer. HOLD fast to your faith. Stay strong in the Lord.

Don't let people's opinions of you stop you from doing what glorifies the Lord.

"Why Lilah?"

I will tell you WHY....

She will change the world. She will make people see the FACE of God. She will bring more to HIS glory. SHE will LEAD others to know their true calling.....she has with me.

I cannot begin to thank God enough for her. Lilah has given me the confidence to do SO much. She has taught me that I can fight. I can keep pushing and I can do it.

THANK GOD for LILAH!

Lilah WALKING from one side of the house to the other. GO GIRL!

GOOOOOOO LILAH GOOOOOO!

Lilah "talking" in the morning!

Halloween 2010...and a something HUGE!

We had a BUSY, but GREAT Halloween week.

Patchville at SCC is our favorite. Every year our church has a massive outreach for children of all ages. I am talking bounce houses galore, candy, hay rides, face painting, candy, rides, games, candy, oh and did I mention CANDY.

Eli had his fall festival at his school, Sammie had a party, and Alex had a fall festival too.

We are worn out...and a little full of candy!

Here are a few pictures to share. I know I am biased, but don't I have beautiful children?

As I got the kids together to take this before we headed to meet Aaron at Patchville, the stray cat came running over and got in. Eli as the Dark Knight, Sammie as Spidergirl, Alex as Spiderwoman, and Lilah as Minnie. Now, for those of you who are wondering why Lilah isn't a super hero...let me stop you really quick. Minnie IS our hero. When we went to Disney, Minnie's assistant held the line and Minnie led Lilah's hand all over her ears, face, nose, and more. (YES I CRIED) From that moment on, Minnie and Lilah had a connection...and Aaron and I fell in LOVE with Disney...so Lilah IS a superhero, too!
As you can see from this picture, Lilah LOVES her Daddy. She giggles and squirms when he gets her with his "whiskies." I am SO blessed to have SUCH a wonderful husband who loves me and our children unconditionally!

" Who me? No, I didn't eat the last one?"

She looks like she got caught RED HANDED!

My beautiful mini-me, Alex. She will be 8 next month. I love her SO much. She has the biggest servant heart I have ever seen.

Now, here is my boy. I love this little handsome devil who looks, and acts, just like his Daddy. I have had people ask me if I actually gave birth to him because he looks so much like Aaron. Yes, all 9lbs 5 oz I pushed out. Trust me, he is part of me too!

My little Sammie.... Such a sweet girl, but careful...she has a naughty streak. I love that no matter what happens, she LOVES to have her picture taken. She can be crying and so upset over a toy,then see my camera, and pose like a model. I know, I know...this one will give us some trouble. I LOVE this little one...in all her dramatic glory!

Look at this beautiful, messy, gorgeous, miracle. She was crawling and pulling up all over the sanctuary at church while "Dan, the Animal Man" was on stage.

I looked at this photograph over and over. I saw something that struck me like a jolt of LIGHTNING....look closely...

HERE...

look at it closer.....

These are some VERY clear corneas.

No, they aren't "perfect" but who cares about all of THAT...look...

You cannot look at this last photo and tell me God doesn't exist.

No surgeries, not even one, on her eyes. She went from completely blind with opaque corneas to these amazingly BLUE eyes in less than two years.

God is here. God is with us. God is healing Lilah. God is changing us...all of us.

You know, when I found out I was pregnant with Lilah...I prayed and prayed for this child. I didn't get the child I prayed for....no, I got something a million times better.... I received the child I was meant to have. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He placed Lilah in my care. I am so grateful for unanswered prayers. I am SO grateful that the Lord saw in me a person who needed, deserved, and would LOVE this special child.

Lilah is my gift.

Thank you, Lord, for this most awesome honor. I pray I honor YOU with all that I do with her, my older three, with my husband, my family, and all that I meet.

HE is using Lilah....I have no doubt!

Babbling Lilah!

Listen to how great this is!

Her Speech Therapist, Bethany, will be very excited...but disappointed. Lilah saves her babbles for us only. She listens and observes when she's at therapy of any kind. We get to see all of the work for ourselves.

LOVE this little stinker!