Happy 3rd Birthday Lilah!

Three years ago today an angel was sent to earth. I had no idea what a blessing I was holding in my arms with her surprise pregnancy, birth, and diagnosis. I was the blind one. I was so scared, sad, shocked, mad hurt that no "test" told us our child was different. The ONE sent her to me and I was questioning HIM why.

3 years later, many tears shed, many battles fought and won, some lost and thankfully I have a VERY different perspective on Lilah, the experience, and her gift.

You know, it really is true. What you think will break you, only makes you stronger. But honestly, I needed MY eyes opened. I knew that Jesus loves us so completely, so perfectly, but there was SO much I was missing. Lilah has shined HIS light in my life...in MANY lives.

What our "world" considers beautiful isn't what God looks at. He looks at our heart. He digs deep into your soul and sees the little girl who was hurt so long ago and knows she needs an angel to help her really see how GREAT and VAST HIS love is. So, HE allows you to walk through the valley. He allows you to be stripped and broken from everything this world has and HE helps you to understand that we "walk by FAITH, not by sight."
He shows you that you not only have courage, strength, love, kindness, abilities, but that you are BEAUTIFUL in HIS eyes.
You may not see HIS blessing right away and you may lay your head and cry. THAT is OK, HE knows what HE has planned for you and HE knows that once you can REALLY see...you will understand why and you will be more thankful to HIM for that storm and valley than you could ever know. You will then look back and wished you would have trusted the entire time and had HIS joy close, but don't worry...HE is not mad or disappointed. No, no, no...quite the contrary. Jesus is crying tears of JOY because YOU finally see. YOU finally feel HIM like HE has always wanted.
HE will do ANYTHING to make us see HIM. And if we are too blinded by our own past, failures, anger, pride, hurt, the LIES we have believed from Satan all of our lives...well, HE will find whatever way HE can to help you understand how deeply HE loves you...like NO one else can.

THIS is what Jesus has done for me with Lilah. I have always been a believer. For as long as I can remember. I cannot even remember a time when I didn't pray or believe HE existed. I have believed...but I didn't really understand it. Today, I not only understand...I feel HIS presence. I see HIM working in others lives and I am just in AWE of Him.

I spent way, way, way TOO long being sad. Not just about Lilah, but about everything horrible that had happened to me. I was allowing Satan to rip and rob me and hold me in such chains. I was missing the JOY I so desperately desired. I blamed others, made choices that I should NEVER have made, did and said things that I wished I hadn't because I was so hurt by the lies Satan was telling me.

Today, I am free. I am free because I really get it. I cannot begin to even start where and how it all happened, but I will try. Lilah was sent to me, and that broke me...even farther than I already was. Then last October I was asked to go on the Walk to Emmaus. (Life changing!!) I couldn't help but see and feel and understand HIS love. The women from my walk helped me SEE and FEEL Him. A few months later, I took the Captivating Study at SCC where one of the ladies from my walk, Barbara leads it. If you are a woman reading this, please....I beg you..PLEASE click on the word Captivating and buy this book. PLEASE! If you live in the Savannah, Ga area...go to the study that Barbara Feemster leads at SCC. YOU will NOT regret it!

I met some wonderful women and I shared such personal things that even those who know me closest probably don't really know the truth. Then, I found it...I found the place where the lies began and I allowed Jesus WAY down to that VERY dark and hidden place and I let HIM in. I allowed HIM to heal what was broken in ME...and then...I could finally see.

At first I began to have guilt about not seeing HIS presence in it all, but then I remembered that is NOT what HE wants. So, I let GO and....I began to live.

And today, this is how I see myself and I see Lilah ....
Lilah,

YOU have changed me. God sent you to me to change this broken heart. HE knew that you were not just going to change me...but so many. Look at what you do to people! You light up the room and bring a smile to their face.
God is using YOU to help us see what a mess we are without HIM and only HE can fix us.
YOU are here to shine HIS light and help us all see with HIS eyes. Lilah, I love everything about you. I love your heart, your laughter, your eyes, your beauty, your giggles, your FIGHT, your perseverance, your WILL. I am in AWE of you. I don't even have enough words to tell you how deep my love is for you.
Your strength has taught me SO much about myself. I have done things that I never, ever would have done. YOU, Lilah Hope, are the strongest woman I know.
I am so thankful for what Jesus has done in you physically, but I am in tears at what He has used YOU to do with me emotionally. YOU were sent to heal me. I see my worth now. I am trying things that I never would have before you. I watch you fight at therapy and I know I must fight even harder. I am learning so much from you, my sweet girl. Your song couldn't be anymore truer than it is today.

"...sent from Heaven to me"

Lilah, thank you for the last 3 years. Thank you for each moment. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for smiling. Thank you for loving me even when I didn't understand. Thank you for teaching us. Thank you for showing me peace and joy. Thank you for healing us.

I love you SO much. I thank Jesus for you...every moment, of everyday.

Happy 3rd Birthday Lilah Hope Sharp!