We will be heading back to Atlanta to see Dr. Greenberg.
Normally, I get very nervous before Lilah's visits. I wonder, "What will her pressures be?" and "Will he be able to get accurate readings?" and "Will she scream her head off?" and "Will he see the difference that I see?"
After realizing that these thoughts and questions are "normal", "warranted", and "OK".....I don't like that the "what ifs" creep in sometimes. I know in my heart that Lilah's eyes are clearer, straighter, focusing more, giving her the ability to "see" more than we had hoped for. I also know that no matter what happens and what is said....Lilah will always be perfect in God's eyes. I think back to the comment that Dr. D gave us when she was born, "God didn't make these eyes right."
Really? God didn't make them right?
I don't agree with that statement. I don't agree with Dr.D. I believe that the Lord knew EXACTLY what HE was doing when HE made Lilah...and her eyes.
Are her eyes "perfect" by the world's standards? no. Are her eyes cloudy? yep. Do her eyes move? yep. Do her eyes turn in sometimes? yep. Does she work hard to see what others take for granted? MOST DEFINITELY!
I am at such peace with Lilah. I am at such peace about who and what and how she is. Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb"
Do I know when or how this peace came about? no. Do I know that I still have more questions? sure. Do I know that it is OK to ask, question, and wonder? yep.
At this next appointment we will see if Lilah really needs her Trusopt. (pressure control drops) Dr. Greenberg wants us to stop the Trusopt about 3-4 days before the visit so he can get an accurate reading of her pressures without the drops. Am I a tad nervous about this part? Not really. I know that the worst that can happen is that he says she needs to stay on the Trusopt. 4 days will not make her pressures go crazy.
I believe that Dr. Greenberg will see great things this visit. Will he get all excited, like Dr. Lee does? no. That's not his personality. Now, if he does, then I will get excited!
The only way I can describe this peace is to tell you that the Lord lives in me. I feel HIS presence. I see the wonders HE has created.
Have I been scared out of my gourd before? yes. But that is OK. I am human.
Will I be scared again someday? sure. Will I stop believing that the Lord God Almighty doesn't know and see and hear it all? never.
Jeremiah 29:11
4 comments:
This was the perfect post to read on a beautiful Sunday morning.
I am so happy that you feel that peace; that knowledge that everything is just going to be okay, no matter what. Hold on to that peace..it's the key to happiness and contentment.
Have a wonderful Sabbath!
:)
I ditto exactly what Lisa said.
Oh and by the way, thanks for what you wrote me regarding my photography post. I felt so encouraged by your words and I thank you for that!
Oh dear Katie, my bipolar daughter is in the hospital again and I get so down and discouraged and your post so lifted my spirits. I have prayed constantly for 2 days that is the only way I can keep from feeling her pain. Blessings to you.
QMM
I'm excited to have found your blog. We are adopting a 4yo boy with Peter's Anomaly in about 8 weeks. I will probably read it ALL when I get time. We may end up with some of the same Dr's, as we are in Birmingham.
The AFO's---Croc's work great over them, you can strtch and pull them to get them on.
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