Anointing

Yesterday afternoon as we walked into church, I watched as many of our fellow SCC family members looked, smiled, and commented as Lilah happily walked in pushing her walker. There were times when she got afraid. Times when she was obviously scared because the terrain changed, she couldn't see the curb, but she did it.

As she turned the corner into the room, a pastor and two elders were waiting on us. They were all so shocked at her improvements and how FAR she has come.

As I told the story of Lilah walking into the grocery store and how she cried out of fear, but was immediately calmed by learning the bananas, bottles, and more awaited her at her level and how its obvious her depth perception is way off, if almost non-existent...I noticed their faces.

The same pastor and two of the elders were the same ones who anointed her originally in December 2008.

Mickey Boutwell said he was just amazed that I was even discussing "depth perception." He said he knows that God can heal and do some great things, but when he first anointed her he was not as faithful because vision is just one of those things you don't see God do that often.

I told Mickey, Dennis, and Carlton how the Doctors told me "MAYBE" one eye. But, I wouldn't take NO for an answer, nor would I stop believing that God could heal her...and He is.

I told them that I KNOW the patching is working because originally it was 1 hour/day, then 3, now 5hrs/day. I told them as they began the anointing that we were going back to Atlanta Wednesday for her check-up with her ophthalmologist. I told them that we are awaiting news on whether or not Angel Flight will take us or we will make the 13 hr round-trip drive. I asked for prayers of continued clarity, straight eyes, safe travels, continued improvements....because I believe. I know, that even though I wasn't the Mom I am today and was MAD at God when she was first diagnosed, I am now so much more aware of HIS blessing.

Delilah Hope Sharp was sent to me to open my eyes, and make me SEE His glory. I have a MUCH closer walk with Him through the valleys I have walked though.

I remember feeling that God had "DONE" this to me and my child. But then it changed to being ANGRY with Him for allowing her to be born this way. WHY her? I would ask...daily, hourly...every minute. I was SO hurt. I just couldn't understand it. The pain I was in...wailing out of shear misery.

WHY didn't I TRUST Him?

Why didn't I believe HIS promises?

Why didn't I understand that HIS plan was greater than my own?

Because I am human and I am her Mom, BUT...

God sent Lilah here to me, to my family, to all of us, to grow us, change us, lead us....but Jesus HAD to start with me. He had to allow me to go to valleys...the bottom of the barrel, so the ONLY place I had to turn was UP. Have you heard the song, "Strong Enough" by Matthew West?

"YOU must, YOU must think I'm strong. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but this looks like more than I can do...on my own....

I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm suppose to be. I give up....

But maybe THAT'S the POINT...

to reach the point of giving up, when I'm finally at rock bottom, that's when I start looking up and reaching out"

I was NEVER meant to do this on my own. I was NEVER meant to do these things alone.....

I had to learn that Jesus IS my rock. HE is my fortress. HE is my healer, deliverer. HE has down GREAT works in Lilah's life, but HE started with her Mama.

I have asked God to forgive me for being so angry and mad at Him...and I know He has.

I have found Freedom. PURE Freedom in HIM....

"Freedom" by Esterlyn is one of my new favorite songs.

"Freedom IS here.

I'm not shaking. I'm not letting Go.

I will not fear. I will NOT hide your LOVE

Everything comes ALIVE in my life when we lift you HIGHER

Freedom is HERE"

I know I will have days when Satan will try with the same old lies, he will fight with everything he has to stop me from believing the TRUTH. I will pray against those temptations. I will pray to stand FIRM in HIS truth.

Jesus has the plan for my life, for Lilah's, for my family.

I believe Jesus can and will continue to do mighty works in Lilah's life. He has some great things planned. We will hit valleys again, but no matter what we will believe in HIS truth and HIS promises.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord. "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

I may not ever REALLY understand WHY He has allowed these things to occur in my life, but I DO know this....

I am closer in my relationship with Christ TODAY than I have ever been.

I pray every single day for Jesus to help me to TRUST Him.

As we head back to Atlanta on Wednesday, I pray that I continue to trust in Him. And I pray that He will continue HIS miracle in her.

I will continue to share HIS goodness and be obedient for THAT is why I am here. I am here to serve our GREAT God...and tell of how HE has given me FREEDOM in HIS name.