and for her.
I wanted to give them information about Lilah.
I gave them my "Lilah Bible" as I call it. Her medical history from birth to present. (All copies of MRI's, blood tests, Dr visits...you name it.)
We talked about her brain.
Her "labels" and how she has already overcome so much of what she was never meant to "do."
Then....a question was asked.
"What do you see when you think of her future?"
"I see a fully functioning, independent adult."
The next question was...
"What are your plans after second grade? You need to think ahead because we don't want her becoming more defeated. Do you really see her learning Algebra?"
and that was it....
Full blown tears...
"I never thought I would get THIS child...."
And the room got quiet. And I further explained. As much as Holland is really hard. That these moments remind me of the dream lost for my child...THIS Lilah was never promised. THIS walking, talking, reading and writing, miraculous child.
I asked the team to remember that this child has come so far. That this child has overcome such leaps and bounds. That this child continues to surprise and impress the crap out of all of us. I never thought Lilah would be doing all she is. THIS Lilah was not promised. THIS Lilah is not the one I envisioned when she was branded at birth.
Then...Lilah's upcoming First grade teacher reminded me of the time I helped her when her own child needed an advocate.
Her First grade teacher said "I want to focus on teaching Lilah where she is and helping her grow."
I left that meeting having landed in Holland all over again. Having been reminded of the dream for my child that is lost. But more importantly...I am grateful for Lilah's team. As much as I push and pull and advocate for my miracle...I cannot fully explain my gratitude for them loving her and wanting to help her grow.
We have more work to do, my sweet baby. Someday you will understand why I push you the way I do. We have massive mountains to move, my dear... Let's get to work.
All my love,